Attention Seeking Toddlers
by Elizabeth Pantley
It can be frustrating when your child constantly interrupts you, but attention-seeking is a common toddler trait. Here's how to teach them when it's okay to interrupt and how to do it politely.
1. Teach when interruptions are appropriate
Toddlers interrupt their parents because it guarantees a response. Chances are your child has learned that you're willing to stop whatever you're doing to answer them if they interrupt you.
The first thing to do is to teach your children how to decide if something is important enough to warrant an interruption. Toddlers have a hard time deciphering when interruptions are justified, so discuss examples of when it's okay to interrupt, such as when someone is at the door, or if a sibling is hurt.
2. Coach proper manners
Teach your child how to wait for a pause in the conversation and then to say: "Excuse me." When she remembers to do this, respond positively. If the interruption is about something that should wait, politely let your child know.
3. Don't answer the question
Many parents admonish kids for interrupting, but in the same breath respond to the child's request or question-this only reinforces the bad habit.
4. Watch your manners
Parents can quickly jump in to correct their child's bad manners and not realize that they are being rude themselves. Use good manners to model appropriate communication skills. Pause, look at your child, and say: "I'll be with you in a minute."
5. Teach "The Squeeze"
Tell your child if she wants your attention when you're talking to another adult, she should gently squeeze your arm. You can then squeeze her hand to show that you know she is there and that you will be with her in a minute.
At first, respond to her question quickly so your child can see the success of this method. Over time you can wait longer, just give a gentle squeeze every few minutes to remind your child that you remember the request.
6. Create a busy-box
Put together a box of activities or games that can only be used when you are on the telephone, working at your desk, or talking with an adult. Occasionally refill it with new things or rotate the contents. Be firm about putting them away when you are done. Your child will start to look forward to your next phone conversation, which will be interruption free.
7. Plan ahead
Before you make a phone call or have a visitor, let your child know what to expect. Try saying: "I'm going to make a phone call. I'll be a while, so let's get your busy box ready to use while I'm on the phone."
8. Give praise when deserved
Catching your child doing the right thing can be the best lesson of all. Praise your child for using good manners, for remembering to say "excuse me,' and for interrupting only for a valid reason.
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