Organizing Family Life: Establishing Routines for Your Children
It is that time of year again: The smell of fall is in the air, leaves are radiating with color, pumpkins are plentiful and the school year is in full swing. Hopefully, everyone experienced a smooth transition back to school from summer vacation, and is well on the way to a successful school year. In order to assist your child in effectively managing the school year, it is important to establish and maintain well-balanced, structured routines. Routines help reduce stress and anxiety, provide a feeling of well being and self-assurance, and assist in developing and maintaining discipline.
Why Establish Routines with Your Children?
Established routines help children transition smoothly and cooperate. Children learn to be responsible and have control over their own activities with routines. They are able to follow rules without hesitation when they know and understand what we expect of them. As a result, children feel more independent and confident by fulfilling their roles and responsibilities in the family.
Routines also reduce power struggles because children do not feel as though they are being "bossed" around by parents when they are reminded of their responsibilities. Routines allow children to develop a more productive lifestyle, which will assist them throughout their life. Children understand life can run more efficiently and effortlessly when there is organization in the home. When there is disorganization, they may never learn this important lesson. In homes where there is no set bedtime, children have a hard time winding down and accepting when it is time to sleep. When there is no set time and location to do homework, children may never learn how to independently sit down and begin the task. Establishing routines early can help a child stay organized and learn essential tools that will assist them in being successful students through high school and into college.
Well established routines allow children to feel secure, and develop a sense of self-confidence while managing their day. Children can increasingly attempt greater challenges as their self- confidence increases. They may feel more capable of independently initiating or finishing homework, walking to school or sleeping at a friend's house. Also, routines help children learn to assume responsibility for their own activities. Children will learn to do such tasks as their homework, brush their teeth and prepare their backpacks without being repeatedly reminded by
their parents.
Tips for Effective Family Routines:
A bedtime routine will foster good sleeping patterns. Regular sleeping routines help children get on a schedule, so they fall asleep more easily at night. Lack of sleep can cause many problems, including difficulty concentrating, mood swings and difficult behavior. In order to ensure your child is getting adequate sleep on a regular basis, you will need to keep the bedtime routine consistent.
At a set time, let your child know that bedtime is approaching. At least a thirty minute warning is necessary to allow time to pack the backpack, put away toys or finish up a TV program. The routine should be the same night-to-night, so that your child learns to anticipate sleep as part of the routine. Once it is bedtime, try a soothing nighttime ritual, such as a warm calming bath, listening to music or story time. Also, try to make the room comfortable for sleeping. Avoid having a cluttered room, and set aside a time each week for room cleanup when your child puts away toys and books and you change the bedding.
Dinnertime routines establish the importance of family interaction. Dinnertime encourages positive and memorable interactions between family members, as well as emphasizes togetherness and strengthens family relations. Parents may decide to keep conversations amusing, happy and fun and establish a warm dinnertime atmosphere. Or, they may want to allow each family member to discuss their day, or any concerns they had at school, work, with friends, etc. Dinnertime is also an appropriate time to introduce routines and responsibilities. A toddler can help place napkins on the table. Young children can help clear the table, and older children can help with all aspects of dinnertime including setting the table, clean up and cooking or preparing salads or easy side dishes.
Homework schedules will help your child get their homework done in a timely manner and with less complaining. Typically, homework is one of the least favorite activities of children. But, it is a necessary part of life and essential to your child's learning. Discuss expectations about a homework routine with your child. Reach an agreement with respect to the time and place for homework, as well as TV and phone restrictions during this time. Designate an organized, quiet space with room to spread out and the necessary supplies to complete homework.
A morning routine will reduce the stress of the morning rush. Your morning routine will set a precedent for the rest of your child's day. Ideally, calmness and a sense of preparedness should travel with your child to school. To help accomplish this, prepare everything you need the night before including lunches, backpacks, gym clothes, etc. and have them by the door and ready to go. Try to stick to the same routine each day. Establish consistent wake up times, as well as time children should be ready for breakfast. Sitting down for breakfast with at least 15 minutes to spare will allow time for a healthy breakfast and reduce stress before your child heads off to school. It is also a good time to discuss what your child is looking forward to at school that day.
Effective routines are easy to follow and flexible. Unexpected guests visit and unforeseen events occur. As a result, a meal may need to take place at a different time, or homework started later. In these situations, remain calm. Parents must remember if they become upset when this happens, their children will sense this frustration and grow upset as well. If you cannot prepare your child ahead of time for the change, then assure them that things will likely return to normal tomorrow.
Best wishes for an enjoyable and successful school year, from beginning to end!
Caryn Forbes is a licensed school psychologist who provides high-quality, comprehensive psychoeducational assessment and evaluation services, conveniently located in the Tyson's Corner area of Virginia. Mrs. Forbes provides assistance to students in need of a school entrance battery, struggling with academics, or experiencing attention and memory issues in school. Assessment and evaluation services include tests of cognitive ability (intelligence tests), achievement (reading, math and writing), executive functioning, attention and information processing, as well as recommendations for school intervention to maximize learning potential. For further information, please contact Caryn Forbes:
Tel: 703-786-1398
Email: Caryn.Forbes@gmail.com
Address: 8618 Westwood Center Drive, Suite 430, Vienna, VA 22182
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